Look for God's realm peeking through our imperfect world.
Deb Kaiser-Cross
My
friends, Kathryn, Sharon, Karen, Jennie and many others speak of feeling closer
to the Divine in nature than anywhere else. Jennie, one of my writer friends,
writes eloquently about it. With them in mind, I set off on Thanksgiving
morning for a walk in the woods at the center where I am engaging in a
personal, silent retreat, hoping for Divine guidance to deepen my memoir.
Where
I experience the intimacy my friends speak of is most often in my journal. Writing
letters and reflections to the Divine in my journal is my major spiritual
practice. On occasion, a wisdom beyond my own emerges from my pen giving me guidance
and a new perspective on life.
But I’m curious about my friend’s experience
and so, as I embark for the woods, I declare, “On my walk, I’m going to be more
present to my surroundings to see if I can have their kind of experience with
the Divine.”
From
the windows in the back of my little cabin, I’ve been marveling at the large
expanse of trees reaching their limbs to the sky. As I enter into their midst, my
attention is drawn to that which is rotting—wet darkened leaves, broken limbs, and
fallen trees. I chuckle at my neat, tidy, orderly, perfectionist self. The woods are messy. I probably miss my connection
with the Divine in the woods because I’m not able to control the messiness.
I
head for the aptly named Stillwater River at the edge of the woods. A huge rock
provides seating as I gaze at the gently flowing water and journal my
reflections. I much prefer the metaphor
of the river flowing as life flows—around barriers, smoothing our rough places.
Once
back in the silence of my cabin, I notice the messiness in my journal. In my
writing, I wade through the messiness in my monkey-mind until a clearing of new
awareness and understanding emerges. This weekend the still small voice of the
Divine within gives me what I came hoping for—clear guidance for deepening my
memoir.
Awe
fills me as an awareness of the messiness of nature mirroring the messiness of
life becomes clear. My memoir is about the messiest stretch of my life. I am
reminded that in the midst of the mess, I have my most profound encounter with
the Divine.
An
intention for 2015: Increase my awareness of the light of grace in the midst of
life’s messiness.
Great insight and intention, Linda. I too need to be reminded that messiness is not just something to be avoided or gotten rid of--that it carries its own kind of grace. Wishing you many blessings in the New Year!
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